Rock Snot Rap

Young Chad is probably the only American (other than Sarah) who will know what Didymo is. Didymo is an algae that clogs up the waterways. Although it was introduced into the rivers here in New Zealand from the US, we hadn’t heard of it before. It’s quite a problem here, but we can’t help making fun of the name.

When you’re on a long road trip, you come up with very strange things to amuse yourself. They don’t need to make sense as long as they pass the time and make you laugh. We composed this song while driving along. It was inspired partly by the Rock Snot Café in Murchison where we spent a long afternoon using their Internet.


For you, Chad, we wrote this little ditty…

yo yo
We got a little ditty about Didymo.
It’s probably a ditty you didn’t know
Because you didn’t know about Didymo.
When you’re in the islands way down low,
You’ll see Didymo everywhere you go.
You’ll find it down where the rivers flow.
Now we’re gonna tell you blow by blow,
Why you mustn’t touch it even with your toe.
To make a little bit of extra dough,
They harvested some Didymo with a rake and hoe.
They put Didymo in our cuppa joe.
We ate the Didymo coz we didn’t know.
Because of Didymo,
We couldn’t go no mo.
Now that we know,
We don’t eat no mo Didymo,
Oh no no

Don’t worry, we didn’t really eat any Didymo.

We also worked on:
Do wah diddy diddy diddy di didymo
There we were just walking down the street,
Singin’ do wah diddy diddy diddy di didymo,
Paddling our kayak just as happy as could be
Singin’ do wah diddy diddy diddy di didymo…

Ok, we’ll stop now.


We’re back at the Rock Snot Café to break up our trip on the way up north. Unfortunately their network is down. I asked the lady behind the counter about why it was down, but she was quick to tell me that she didn’t know anything about ‘those things’, referring to the computers. She half looked over her shoulder to ask the other two ladies helping her attend to the café full of us and another lone couple sipping a flat white and long black. The other two café employees, who were looking for things to straighten up, were no more help. That’s one of them in the picture above taking a well-earned break. The only advice they gave was that the computers had been blank for several days now, but they don’t know anything about them. They added that they were surprised nobody had been out to fix them. I wondered if they considered telling their boss that the computers had been blank for several days. Or maybe the owner was waiting for the computer specialist to swing by and reboot the computers and charge her a few hundred dollars for his skills. In the mean time, we’ll finish our cappuccino and fluffy, let our laptop recharge, and look for some Didymo where the kayakers launch their boats.

We can’t go into a café now without ordering Quinne a fluffy. A fluffy is just a small cup of frothed milk. Sometime they throw in two small marshmallows and a sprinkle of chocolate powder to justify charging a dollar or two. We usually ask for a fluffy without the accoutrements to comfort us into thinking we’re just giving her a bit of milk. If Oliver conveniently forgets to make this request, he’s forced into eating the marshmallows and chocolate off the top before the poor deprived Quinne notices. In actuality, we’re falling into the clever café trap that lures innocent kids into the coffee addiction. It starts with a virgin fluffy and soon moves up to chocolate sprinkled fluffies, fluffies with colorful candy sprinkles, alluring pastel marshmallows, and keeps going from there.

Quinne feels quite grown up sitting among the other adults sipping her fancy looking fluffy. Beck now recognizes them and fervently asks for his share, forcing Quinne to remove her airs of superiority and share her distinguished cup of fluff with her childish baby brother. It won’t be long before we find her staggering into the closest café for her fix of double espresso to calm her nerves. And it’ll be all our fault. I just hope we don’t stop off at the café before composing another silly caffeine induced rap.

Ok, it’s time for us to paddle upstream and avoid the Didymo.


Here's what it looks like (in the picture)...